Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Arkansas Rivalry Week non-Facts

For Texas fans like me who are either too young or too old to remember Arkansas as a SWC rival, this week doesn't feel like anything more than a regular out of conference game. For Arkansas fans of all ages this game is like the lovechild of the Superbowl and the moon landing, so in an effort to balance the zealotry I have come up with some totally made-up untrue non-facts about the Hawgs that you might want to know going into this weekend's game.

Totally made-up untrue Razorback non-facts:

1. Arkansas head coach Bobby Petrino once led both OU and A&M to victory against UT in the same game.
2. Razorback QB Casey "has no" Dick once said Vince Young was only "okay."
3. The state bird of Arkansas is the "Dead Baby."
4. A polar bear reserve/orphanage for the blind was razed in order to make room for Donald W. Reynolds Razorback stadium.
5. Bobby Petrino once told reporters that "Colt is a girly name" and that "Greg Davis is a genius because of his affinity for the horizontal pass."
6. Fayetteville means "Burnt Orange is a gay color" in French.
7. Ex-Razorback Darren McFadden told Fayetteville reporters that he thinks "ACL would be better if there were more country music performers. Same goes for 6th Street. "
8. Bobby Petrino pronounced the 'g' in Ogbonnaya in a press conference.
9. Casey "tiny" Dick emailed me to say that "no, it would not be cool to play NCAA '09" on the Godzillatron. Jerk.
10. Arkansas WR D.J. Williams once kicked a handicapped puppy, hit a girl, and told a racist Helen Keller joke while using the Flying Spaghetti Monster's name in vain (twice).

Now that you have some beef pork with Arkansas, you should feel totally prepared for the game.


Drew said...

Wow. Swing-and-a-miss.

tim said...

I laughed.

mackbrown said...

"...said Vince Young was only 'okay.'"