T5B5 It's gettin' real real

This weekend in the world of college football was essentially the polar opposite of last weekend. Pretty much everyone who should have taken care of business did, and did it early on in the game. Even so, little doubt remains in my mind that we are the rightful owners of the number one spot on any and all polls. Now, on to ranking the unrankable (and no spell check, I didn't mean "undrinkable" as I clearly proved yesterday that no such beverage exists).

Top Five
1. Colt "I three starred yo mama last night" McCoy: It feels just plain lazy at this point to have him at the top of my list week in and week out, but I don't believe anyone who watched last night's game can argue against me. There were two plays specifically last night that really proved to me once and for all that this truly is a different Colt than we saw last season. The first was the near sack and resulting fumble that he scooped up and threw anyway for a 23 yard gain. Check the label, that's pure concentrated liquid play making. The second happened in the first quarter when Colt absorbed a particularly viscous hit on a 3 yard scramble to the Mizzou 22, got up, and threw straight at Mizzou defensive linemen Tommy Chavis on second down. At that point I was thinking, "oh boy, I've seen that before." Colt then proceeded to make me feel dirty for doubting him by rifling a 13 yard pass to Quan Cosby which set up for the TD. He's simply playing at a different level than anyone else in the country.
2. Greg "suck this, h8rz" Davis: Through all the attention Will Muschamp has received this season for what he has done with the defense, I do not think Greg Davis has received his due credit. Gone are the past seasons of smashing square players into round offenses with mediocre results. The offense employed this season by Davis and co. suits the players perfectly, just ask our 46.8 points per game (good for 5th in the NCAA).
3. The Referees: You have to commend these guys for fighting so valiantly to keep Mizzou in this game. Try and try as they might, they could not force Mizzou to score more points. I don't think I have ever heard an entire stadium boo play after play because of missed holding calls. At one point, a line judge finally threw a flag for holding when Sergio Kindle was chased down from behind and tackled by a Mizzou offensive tackle because he must have felt some guilt for the racket this weeks crew was running. The worst part was that the ump was starring straight at the play and didn't bat an eye. Maybe I'm confused on the rules, but the fact that the mother of three sitting next to me was wishing unspeakable agony on the referees on just about every play Mizzou was on offense really made me feel vindicated. I realize it's a total dick move to complain about game officiating in a blowout, but a situation will arise this season where the egregious holding of Kindle and Orakpo will significantly affect the course of a game. I might just right a strong worded letter to the NCAA, that'll show them!
4. Chykie "is there anything I can't I do for you" Brown: Chykie will be playing on Sunday in a few years, and is quickly making his assent to UT defensive back royalty. The fact that smarty-pants Muschamp is willing to put him up against Jeremy Maclin in man coverage speaks volumes for how me must be playing in practice. His execution in covering Maclin speaks volumes for how big of an asset Chykie is to this defense.
5. Vondrell "my boy" McGee: I'm... er... sorry for, like, calling you out. Rushing for an average 9.7 yards per carry on six carries for 58 yards, Vondrell had just the kind of day expected out of him after his performance last season. Whether it be that the o-line has finally come together to be the truly dominant force they were destined to be, or Vondrell has shaken some undisclosed injury this week, I hope new/old Vondrell his here to stay.

Bottom Five
1. Texas A&M: The Aggies may already have won their last game of the season. By going into halftime with the lead, and then flaming out so spectacularly in the second half, they managed to look twice as bad as before the game started, rather than marginally better for staying in the game through two quarters. Watching this game really reminded me that the only minorities within a 5 mile radius of that stadium were on the field. How does anyone recruit to that school? Oh wait, they don't.
2. Clemson: Give. Up.
3. The PAC 10: Just thinking about the fact that a one loss USC could play in the national championship while a one loss Texas watches on creates a feeling of rage inside of me that should only be reserved for child molesters. USC's conference schedule is weaker than our cupcake laden out of conference schedule. Terrible.
4. Tulsa's sportsmanship: You might be an asshole (read: Steve Spurrier) if you go for it on 4th and goal in the fourth quarter when you are up 70-35. I know this being ranked thing is pretty new for you, but at least act like you've been there before.
5. Wake Forest: 26-0. Ouch. Score a point next time. I didn't realize Maryland even had a football team.