Effin A University

I was planning on writing a unit vs unit preview of the FAU game coming up this weekend, but have found that no one really cares about FAU. Even the roster found on their own website is out of date. So instead, I thought it would be prudent to create a drinking game for those of you who will be watching the game at home with a fridge full of beer. Those of us at the game won't be drinking of course, because it's not like the flask was invented in Texas or anything (totally made up, don't even bother Googling it). 

Announcer mentions... (drink 3)

Chris Jesse

Texas's Young secondary

Howard Schnellenberger and drinking

Chris Ogbonnaya, but has no clue how it is pronounced

Fozzy, but as "Foswhitt"

Rusty Smith, greatest QB alive

DollaWill Mu$champ being fiery

The legendary Major Applewhite

Game Milestones (finish drink)

End of 1st and 3rd Quarters

Halftime

End of game

Texas... (drink 2)

Throws an interception

Fumbles the ball

Gets beaten deep due to an out of position freshman

Coach touches a live ball

DollaWill Mu$champ says an audible swear word

FAU... (drink 3)

Doesn't show up because they don't actually exist

Doesn't feel so tough in front of 98,000 angry drunk people

Public apologizes for angering the great nation of Texas

Rage, straight into the bloodstream

There, now that your mind is set, let's talk some shit.

FAU's coach, Howard Schnellenberger, didn't make things easier on himself or his Owls with a little verbal diarrhea concerning their upcoming trip to Austin on August 30th. If you haven't yet, take a little eye walk here, fill up your rage tank, and get ready to get really drunk and angry come game day. 

New paragraph means I want to make an emphasized point. For the love of everything that is Texas, I implore you to not post a negative comment on that blog, or any other public forum where you might be associated with the Longhorns. I think it is a great disservice to our otherwise highroad faring football team to represent them in anyway that isn't dignified and respectful. It isn't about looking hard and tough. If you have ever played any kind of sport against another person who is really good at what they do, you know how truly terrifying it is to get obliterated by someone who doesn't need to talk as they do it.

Considering the meager amount of opinions I receive publicly in the comment section of this blog, I fear that I am preaching to the choir, but none the less I feel it important enough to at least make my opinion (and that is all it is) known. 

On a lighter note, less than two weeks until we get to let our displeasure known. 

Three scariest games for Texas in 2008

3. FAU: I'll probably get the most criticism for this one, but the very reason for that criticism is why this game worries me. Since any of the current players have been on the team the first game of the season has been a sort of "tune-up before grownup football starts." Make no mistake, this is not Arkansas-State or the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, this is a developing team with the ability to pull a quick one. Not because they have great talent or superior coaching, but because we are expecting to beat them easily, and they are coming in with a very decent spread offense against our extremely green defensive secondary.    

2. @ Colorado: This game in Boulder has all the makings of a trap game. CU hates Texas for good reason, and has a grudge to settle. Many Texas fans might not remember the speed bump the juggernaut that was 2005 Texas football cruised over on the way to winning a National Championship, but I guarantee you Colorado has not forgotten about the embarrassing 70-3 loss in the Big 12 Championship. Dan Hawkins has a bright future as a head coach, and with a weapon like Darrell Scott just hitting his stride when the Horns make the trip to Boulder, his team could be very hard to beat.

1. @ Texas Tech: The Raiders have had our number for years, and this year everything seems to be going their way. Not only is this game in Lubbock, Tech will be loaded with a turbo version of their usual prolific offense. When you combine their ability and willingness to pass, the fact that they return 22 starters, and the inexperience of our safeties, you get the potential for huge momentum crushing pass plays in an already excessively hostile stadium.