Bo Pelini, I dig your style

Bo Pelini is a man, he's 40! No really he is. If you are going to be the headcoach at a school renowned for having the most accommodating and classy fans, the best thing you can do in my mind is go in there and f#*k some sh!t up. Kind of like how on your first day in prison, you should find the biggest baddest dude, and become his b!tch. Or something like that, I don't remember the specifics. Bo Pelini did so by successfully amassing more penalty yards (two penalties for 30 yards) in his five games as headcoach than any other coach in the country. Using dubious math, that means he will call a ref a "crapface" and draw a penalty in 40% of games he coaches, yielding an increase of 150% growth in the entertainment value of Nebraska games.

So to you, Bo Pelini, I tip my Burnt Orange coffee mug of reverence and hope that you may bless me with hours of youtube fun throughout your tenure as a headcoach in the Big XII.