T5B5: Heh Heh, more like Badford.

Holy balls what the hell is going on? Mack: didn't you get the memo that this is a rebuilding reloading year? We are supposed to be struggling to stay in games this season. We lost just about every player on offense from last season not named Colt. I mean come on, we have a true freshman playing safety! And most importantly, you're making me look stupid. In a good way. Thank you.

Playing the "what if" game is generally counterproductive and bad practice, but it makes me sick to my stomach to think what this season's rendition of our football team would have done to last season's schedule. We'd be talking about "how incredible it is that we've won 2 of the last 4 national championships, and how crazy it is that Colt managed to win the Heisman when The Immaculate Vince Young never did, but then again who can argue against Colt's unbelievable 850 yard game against Iowa State." That's not to say that I don't believe that this season's Horns aren't very well suited for the strength of their schedule. Exactly the opposite actually; I'm not sure there is another Mack Brown Texas team that I would rather have at this point in our schedule. The next three teams we play are ranked 11, 8, and 7. We still have two away games against top 15 teams who have had more success passing than we have had stopping it. The next two teams we play have looked as good, and at times better than the Oklahoma team we faced this past Saturday. The next game we play will be against a once 2nd ranked Mizzou who probably isn't very jolly about their tough loss this past weekend to the team that we play the weekend after. Even with all of that, I believe that this may be an exceptionally exciting season for all of us fans. 

Top Five

1. What's it called again when you throw the ball perpendicular to the line of scrimmage? Finally! Whoever decides whether or not to take shots downfield turned the page and decided to go for it, while balancing the attack with screens and flats. Even the previously thought to be dead Malcolm Williams got a few deep looks. 
2. Execution: Greg Davis and Mack have long been stalwarts of the simple but perfectly executed offense. After watching our game and then Missouri's game, I can't argue with them anymore. We ran a no-frills offense and made very few mistakes, while Mizzou ran some of the freakiest plays I have seen anywhere with disastrous results. Don't be fooled though, they'll be ready to stomp this yard come next Saturday.

3. Sam Bradford, I wish you were graduating but we seized the day. Bradford is really good and is going to be around for a while. Fortunately for us, DollaWill Mu$champ was drinking all of his milkshake this past weekend. Especially in the second half, Bradford appeared to have no idea what we were doing on defense as evidenced by the fact that based on what we were giving him on defense he sometimes distressedly changed the play two or three times before the snap and still came up empty. What an incredible change from last year where we did exactly what it looked like we were going to do every single time. 

4. Safeteens: Mother of all things good Earl Thomas is quick. Watching Earl and Muck chase down Gresham on that long play action was like watching me race a motorcycle on foot. Earl managed to cross the whole field and impart some love on Gresham (who was running straight down the opposite side of the field). 

5. Colt McSneakypants: OU clearly thought they knew something secret about our count and were constantly trying to jump it. Whatever Colt was doing to get them to jump offsides whilst keeping our o-line firmly set was unbelievable. He's clearly arrived as a true field general, and is making me more and more doubtful that we'll have him back another season. 

Bottom Five

1. A&M:  It's time to put down the controller, restart the XBOX,  grab another beer, and try again. Seriously, you clearly must be doing this for attention, we get it. Making fun of your supporters isn't even fun anymore, because it just makes me feel like a bully. At this point, you'd be better off just taking a season off and hoping for better luck next year. 

2. Mizzou's O-line: Chase Daniel appeared to be running for his life for the better part of the second half against an underrated Oklahoma State defense. The scary part is, he still didn't make many mistakes at all. You better be ready to go Aaron Williams, because Daniel makes decisions under pressure like an NFL QB. 

3. The SEC: For once, I'm not impressed. Whereas the top half of the Big 12 is playing each other in what can only be described as blood baths, the SEC seems to have settled for tickle fights. Remember earlier this season when LSU vs Auburn was a big game? Oops.

4. Kansas State: You let A&M score 30 points on you and gave up a record setting day to the farmer's Robert Griffin. In hindsight, deciding to fill your entire defense up with junior college transfers was a little bit like loading up on walk on standouts. 

5. Being Ranked 1st: To set the record straight, this isn't the first time we have been ranked first during the regular season since 1984. We were ranked 1st in the 8th week of 2005 as well, so stop perpetuating this fake stat just because you read it somewhere else. I like that the Horns are ranked first, I just hate the big red X that comes along with it.

The Second Coming of JC

Hooray John Chiles! This weekend's game marks a full year as an active college football player for the sophomore, and his second time facing rice. He ran nine times for 72 yards in his debut game, averaging 8 ypc over two drives. So far this season he has only carried the ball six times for eight yards, averaging 1.3 ypc. It is no secret that the Horns' running backs have been underwhelming so far this season, rushing well under the season goal of 200 yards per game. Not including Colt's 111 total yards on the ground, the Horns have only accounted for 243 yards total yards over two games. It isn't even that the focus has been on passing the ball either; 48% of the plays called this season have been runs by players not called Colt McCoy. 

The Point:

This is the perfect game to unleash John Chiles. Perfect strategy: tell RoboColt he has just the first quarter to amass his Heisman hopeful-esque stats (the positive side effect being a quick start that's been missing), and then let John Chiles and Sherrod Harris finish the game. Rice was gashed for 273 yards on the ground last week against Vanderbilt, so it goes without saying that we need every guy that can run on the field early and often. 

OT: Cody Hawkins throws one up deep for Colorado's first touchdown, I hope you are watching this game Earl Thomas and Blake Gideon.

Top Five Bottom Five Tuesday

Let's do this, best and worst five aspects of the Horns' game against FAU.

Disclaimer: I am VERY content with our game on Saturday, but in an effort to remain balanced am including a bottom five.

Top Five

1. Colt is back! I have been a fairly vocal member of the Malcolm in the Middle fan club since I heard he was the qb selected to lead the scout team in preparation for our game against USC. I thought, he must be good. Then 2006 rolled around, and holy babies he was good! Come 2007 he was all but forgotten and seen as a placeholder between fantastic dual threat qbs. And now, finally I feel like he has turned the corner towards becoming a truly memorable player. Sure, sure it was just against FAU (who did win a bowl last season), but it sure as heck could have been worse. He saw all the open receivers, chose the right time to use his underrated feet, stayed composed even when the offensive line wasn't dominating, and distributed the ball selflessly all over the field.

2. What is "blockedpunt?" I've listed the zero in the 2007 "blocked anything" column as one of my main concerns coming into this season. Any point before Oklahoma would have worked fine, really, but thanks for listening. I heart Earl Thomas.

3. Put the Tight in Tight end... what? Blaine Irby, welcome to Texas football. Blaine had such a great coming out day (maybe the gayest two sentences on this blog? not that there is anything wrong with that), that ESPN even took notice from their great ivory pedestal. 

4. Blake Gideon:What planet are you from? How did you sneak in with such low national recruiting attention, only to freaking explode into a starting role? I had pretty strong reservations about this guy coming into this game, but at one specific point in the first quarter, when he sniffed out a screen in the backfield and freaking punted the would-be receiver into old age, I drunkly announced his induction into my family for all those in earshot. He was caught out of place once or twice, but he so outplayed my expectations that I really can't complain.

5. Deo... Curtis Brown? The coaches mean business. For real this time. Deon Beasley would have been my choice of starter, based on his performance last year, but he didn't start the game. Curtis must actually have outperformed Beasley in practice. Flabbergasted and overjoyed by the coaches sticking to their word on the depth chart.

Bottom Five

1. No FFs. We were ahead in turnovers, so it's tough to say anything. We did capitalize on a mistake they made, but didn't force any mistakes. With the talent laden front seven that we have, I expect this to improve as DollahWill Mu$champ prepares them for UTEP. 

2. No Sacks. We didn't allow any real sacks, but we did not get any of our own either. I attribute this to the linebackers being used to help out the secondary rather than applying pressure on the quarterback. Even if the linebackers didn't actually get any sacks, the pressure would have been enough to get Roy Millertime or Orakpo out of a double-team long enough to hurt someone. 

3. Cornerbacks: I'm looking at you Ryan Palmer. This choice describes the game perfectly for me. A unit that accounted for the only forced turnover of the game is listed as bottom five, with emphasis on the player who made the interception. He was one of the most electric players on defense, but he made as many mistakes on defense as any one else. As a senior, I expect him to be playing at a different, cleaner, level than the true freshman, and in this game he just wasn't. He needs to focus and really become the elite cornerback everyone knows he can be.

4. Charlie Tanner's Injury: No fault of his own, just dumb (terrible) luck. Even though it gives future star Michael Huey a chance to prove himself, any injury in the offensive line is bad news. Charlie was having an incredible game until he went down with a sprained ankle, so here's to hoping he gets better quickly.

5. My F-ing Ticket: I just graduated from UT, got a job, and moved to Houston. I bought season tickets anyway, because I just can't stay away. I had been laying awake at night due to my excitement about the VY jersey retirement, the new stadium, and the beginning of my favorite season. These days, student season tickets are conveniently emailed to you, so that all you have to do is print the tickets off, regardless of your location or condition. The ticket office must assume that people gain responsibility after they graduate, as they send just you hard copies in the mail. They were wrong. 

I left my ticket in Houston, and didn't realize until I was in Austin. 

I still feel great about it. I deserve all the criticism your internal monologue is throwing at me.

Any one else have something noteworthy happen to them? Send me an email and I will gladly post the best ones.