Colorado Week Facts of Dubious Veracity

Holy crap, is it really time to start playing (kind of) good teams now?! Some have said that this could very well be a trap game for Colt and family, so I have decided to nip this the bud and throw out some reasons to hate want to beat CU.

1. Josh Smith once said he though "Reggie Bush deserved the Heisman." Kind of like Reggie deserved his weekly pay check at USC (cha-zing).
2. Ralphie is widely known to attend the tailgates of strangers, drink tons of beer, eat all the food, hit on the host's girlfriend, and then not even offer any money or beer in return (and we all know your girlfriend is worth every penny).
3. Cody Hawkins's middle name is "hanger abortion" (over the line? It's the internet, what line?).
4. CU's mama is so fat she looks like Darrell Scott (Whopa! Immature and topical!).
5. Feminine hygiene commercials during football games was totally Dan Hawkins's idea.
6. CU and Georgia Tech won a national championship in 1990.
7. Darian Hagan finds Sarah Palin smart and Joe Biden warm (Debatable!).
8. Dan Hawkins, like, got totally blazed after lighting up your last bowl of the kindest bud you ever had the opportunity to experience (man).
9. Ralphie has no problem jumping to the front of long lines during rush hour by zooming up the lane that everyone knows merges. I could F-ing kill that buffalo.
10. Darrell Scott once privately committed to Texas, only to renege with the graciousness of your average Buffalo amidst a flurry of rumors that his mother may have been offered incentives from the Buffs. To make matters worse, Scott ended up spurning Texas coaches Major Applewhite and Bobby Kennedy, as well as visibly upsetting the otherwise unshakable Mack Brown in the process (reality burn).

Goo Goo g'CU

Dan "the Egg Man" Hawkins is spreading some serious chemical love around Boulder based on some of the comments the CU PR team is letting slip. For further proof, remember that time Darrell Scott was going to be the Buffs star player in an offense designed around him? Someone named Dan Hawkins must have been high, unlike the ranking of CU's future recruits after that bit of wizardry. From the article:

"They didn't respect us. We thought we could go in there and hang with them. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be 70-3. And then in the fourth quarter, blitzing and piling it on, I didn't think that would happen, but it did."

Thanks Coach Hagan, our players were feeling a little flat going into this game, but now that you have spoken out against our moral fiber we are all set!

Party like it's 1947

As in, West Virginia's offense is more boring than old people talking about the past. I truly hope West Virginia's post game talk included a sincere apology from their coach Bill Stewart. The only way I can explain his coaching behavior is that Bill Stewart was actually being controlled by someone playing a video game, who was being distracted by his girlfriend's complaints about how all he ever does is play video games. In what was one of the strangest calls I've seen in a while, Stewart used up all of his timeouts going into the second half, hoping that Colorado's Coach Hawkins wouldn't figure out that if there are three seconds left on the clock and it is fourth down, you aren't required to punt. To make matters worse, Stewart apparently didn't feel that his own final drive, tied 14-14 with under a minute left, was interesting enough to have any idea of what was going on. With two timeouts left, he let the clock run down to :04, and then tried to bomb it into the end zone from half field. 

OT:  Don't look now, but Baylor is looking decent.